The One Relationship That Lasts
The Truth About Loneliness: It’s Not About Others—It’s About You
We often believe that loneliness is caused by the absence of someone special in our lives. But loneliness has nothing to do with other people. It is not about what you’re missing from others—it’s about what you are denying yourself.
The Root of Loneliness
What is it you crave most in a relationship? Love? Affection? Respect? Fun? Chances are, these are the very things you fail to give yourself. Loneliness isn’t a lack of external connection—it’s the pain of self-neglect.
Many people live with an external locus—their happiness depends entirely on others. They dress, groom, and engage in activities not for personal joy but for external validation. They stay busy to distract from the emptiness inside. They put themselves last, invalidating their own needs.
Why Giving More Won’t Fix It
Self-neglect often disguises itself as selflessness. Always putting others first may seem noble, but it leaves you feeling depleted. A healthy relationship requires both giving and receiving. If you do all the giving, you’ll feel unfulfilled, lonely, and drained.
The Loneliness Epidemic: A Lack of Self-Care
The pandemic made this clear. Without an audience, many people abandoned self-care. Pajamas became the norm, personal grooming disappeared, and without others for whom to dress, some felt like they barely existed. This highlights a deeper truth—when you stop taking care of yourself, you signal to yourself that you’re not worth the effort.
And if you don’t believe you’re worth the effort, how can you expect someone else to?
Reconnecting with Yourself
If you feel lonely, it’s because you are missing from your own life. The solution? Start treating yourself the way you wish someone else would treat you.
Keep a journal—your thoughts matter.
Meditate—your soul has wisdom to share.
Practice self-care—not for others, but for YOU.
Thich Nhat Hanh said, “The best way to take care of the future is to take care of yourself in the present moment.”If you dream of finding your soulmate, start by becoming your own best companion. The relationship with yourself is the one you’ll have forever—make it a good one.
