Don't Let The Past Decide Your Future
The Preemptive Power of Beliefs
A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Your beliefs determine the outer limits of your experiences, both good and bad. Neuroscience confirms that what you believe becomes your reality. If past relationship experiences have led you to think that true, epic love is unrealistic, your mind will block you from experiencing it. It’s not that love doesn’t exist—it’s that your mind sets the parameters for what you can perceive. If you believe relationships are nothing but hard work and compromise, you will subconsciously avoid them. Your life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of your beliefs. Want to understand your hidden beliefs? Look at your life—it’s a direct reflection of them.
A World of Our Own Making
Past painful experiences shape our beliefs, keeping us locked in a reality of our own creation. However, you are not doomed to repeat the past. You become free when you realize that the harm you’ve experienced wasn’t caused by others—it was caused by your reaction to it. Our personalities influence how we process events. For example, I have a passionate nature and used to suppress my anger, fearing its release. However, suppressed anger can cause serious health issues. I believe my past tendency to hold onto anger contributed to the liver trouble that almost killed me years ago.
Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life suggests that every illness has an underlying emotional pattern. She healed herself from cancer by recognizing that unexpressed resentment was the root cause. Similarly, many illnesses stem from repressed emotions. When we internalize hurt, our brain forms neural pathways that reinforce the belief that people and relationships are unsafe. This belief structure then dictates our future experiences, keeping us stuck in fear and distrust.
Water Off a Duck's Back
The key insight here is that damage comes not from the event itself, but from how we interpret it. If someone tries to hurt you, but you see through their actions and dismiss them as irrelevant, no damage occurs. You do not internalize the hurt, nor does your brain create a lasting belief about it. It simply rolls off like water off a duck’s back.
Having Feelings Doesn’t Mean You Are Damaged
Acknowledging your emotions is important, but feeling pain does not mean you are permanently wounded. Suppressing emotions only makes them fester. The goal is to express your feelings and then release them. Forgiveness plays a key role—it is not about excusing bad behavior but about freeing yourself from its burden. Forgiveness means recognizing that everyone, even the most hurtful people, is doing the best they can with their understanding of the world. Let go of resentment, not for them, but for yourself.
Realize that the person who hurt you was never meant to be your forever partner. Don’t allow past wounds to diminish your future happiness. Your true soulmate is still out there. The reason you haven’t met them yet is not fate—it’s that you haven’t done the inner work necessary to recognize and attract them.
Creating the Love You Deserve
To find your perfect match, you must first discover yourself. Understanding your values, standards, and vision for your ideal life is essential. Only then can you make The List of the one person who aligns with your desires in every way. This process is not accidental but intentional. Once you create your List, you will meet the person who is meant for you—your best friend, your partner, your everything.
Don’t let past hurts keep you from living your best life. Love is waiting for you. It’s time to believe in it.
