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In today’s episode of Insights I want to address the Number One reason people come to see me: They wonder why they just can’t seem to be happy. It takes them a while before they come because they feel sort of guilty about not being happy. They have a pretty good life. There is really nothing they can put a finger on that is making them unhappy.
Sure, they wish for closeness with someone, they wish they had a little more energy and they wish they had a little more money – but who doesn’t? Right?
So they try ignoring the problem but it just won’t let them go. In fact it is getting worse. They really feel themselves getting depressed and anxious maybe even having a little too much wine in the evening. And they feel guiltier and guiltier.
They have tried other ways to make themselves feel better. They made made a gratitude list – Oy Vey – made them feel even worse! There was so much on it. So much to be grateful for in the face of so many others who don’t have as much. Then how come they feel so overwhelmed, so overburdened and burned out? They picked up self-help books, maybe went a workshop or two. And it worked! They walked out of there feeling better, but a few days, maybe a few hours later they felt even more hopeless.
Right about that time their significant other piped up: “Why can’t you just be happy? What is so wrong with your life? You are just crazy, that’s all.”
But you are not crazy. What’s more is you’re not alone. There are three reasons why self help doesn’t really work all that well. The number one reason is that you can’t solve a problem form the level of the problem – Einstein said that! The other reason is that you can’t change your subconscious. Oh sure, you make changes to learned behavior, the smaller synaptic connections but the oldest, deepest ones; the ones that really affect your behavior, those are permanent. The third reason why self help does not work all that well is that in this Universe in which we live your experiences are reflections of your own beliefs and perceptions. What you focus on grows.
What you reap is what you sow. You cannot reap something you didn’t sow. Duh! Yu can’t focus on your problems and expect to find happiness. That’s not how this Universe works.
So what can you do to finally become really happy?
You have to get out of your head and become more consciously aware of who you are.
There are a couple of ways to get out of your head. One is that glass of wine after work. Getting drunk helps us dive below Consciousness. Of course this is not a permanent solution. I mean, we can’t just stay drunk all the time. Right?!!
The other way to get out of your head is by stepping fully into Consciousness. The Iceberg Principles offer an illustration that your physical being – your body and your mind – is only 4% of who you are.
96% of you is the Presence that you feel within. Close your eyes. Can you feel your own Presence? It is really subtle. You have to pay close attention. It is not physical. It is non-dimensional – that’s why your head cannot help you. Your mind is useful in the physical world. This is Consciousness – pure energy.
It’s that little voice within you – not the loud, ugly one that berates you and keeps you scared and small – that’s the ego. This is the small voice of Intuition that guides you and steers you in the right direction. It’s the voice of your authentic self and it may so subtle that you are barely aware of it but there are ways of focusing on it; become familiar with it so it becomes louder to you and clearer. It is that voice that guides you to who you really are and what you are supposed to do with your life. See, you exist for a reason and all your gifts and talents and strengths are what uniquely qualify you to play the role you are meant to play. For that to happen you have to find your strengths and hone those. And you also have to know your weaknesses and the things you don’t like so you can STOP doing those.
That’s what makes you unhappy – going against your own grain. Doing more of the things you don’t like and none of those you are meant to.
Today I want to give you two ways in which to make that inner voice become louder. The first method to make contact with your inner self is through meditation. I teach a very powerful technique that is really easy to learn and I want you to have it now. Put your email in the box to the right so I know where to send you my free eBook, Mediate – Discover The Giant Within. Download it and read it. In a few days I will send you the audio version for a double whammy of learning. Then I will send you two guided meditations to practice becoming aware of your authentic voice within.
For those who have already downloaded the book – now I want you to actually print it out and read it. And look for a future episode of Insights on why the ego makes it so hard to follow through – and what to do about it.
The second, very powerful technique I want to give you today is to become aware of your daily activities – everything you do when you get up in the morning to the clothes you choose to your daily activities – I want you to do two things: observe whether the activity deadens you or whether it makes you feel good. Just note how it makes you feel, perhaps even jot it down.
For example, do the clothes you picked make you feel good or did you pick them because they are “appropriate”?
You are meant to find out who you really are. It’s a process but this is a really fun process. It will make you feel a little better right away. You will notice how something in you lights up just a little. That’s your authentic self waking up and giving you a tiny taste of how your life is meant to feel. You will feel this impish little twinge of delight – just imagine how it would feel if you felt like that most of the time?
Wouldn’t that be something?
If you enjoyed this episode of Insights Liked it, Share it, Tweet it and leave a comment below. I really want to hear from you! I want to hear what activities made you come alive. I want to know what deadened you, too. You have to know that as well. But I really want to know what made you come alive.
Let me know topics you would like to see discussed in future episodes of Insights. That would be really helpful.
Thanks for watching and I look forward to seeing you very soon!